Teenaged drama is starting to bug the crap out of me and its toying with my emotions!I sound like such a whiney bitch right now but i had to get it out and who better then no one to listen... Anyway for thoughs who know me trust is a big thing and im always there to help my friends all the time any time every time but latelly it feels like alot of my friends are drifting away from me.. And truth be told i really need them to stay, i Dont think i could handle myself without them.However the problem inlies in the fact that i see my self becoming more sinical with every passing day and all the time i jump at little things and blow them WAY out of propotion but i'm not sure anyone really understands i just need to be reasured my world isnt falling apart. I consentlly feel like people are holding secrets from me for one reason or another, my life is so rutine and i hardlly see my best friend i feel like my heart and soul are chained by some unseen puzzle lock and i feel like everyone elese has alreaddy sloved theres and is leaveing me behind. Every day people tell me good things or smile at me and i smile back, people hug me and talk to me and i return the favor but it all really means nothing. The thing that makes me happy is making others happy but latelly i dont get the chance...its hard to help someone if your out of "the loop".Im also inches away from just passing out on the keyboard so For all i know this could mean nothing or it could be how i really feel i guess ill leave that for you to diside.. on another subject ive seen hope before and i know my future will be better and though i may not see it right now there is a light at the end of the tunnel and i intend to see it though.To all who can please help...

-Edison Carter